Congratulations
by tyleetty
Summary: It's hard keep a sharade. You can run from it, hide from the lonelyness, but eventualy it will catch up. And there will be no where left to hide.  Not slash!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my newest story! It is currently a one-shot, but if enough people review and or want me to continue I will probably turn this into a multi-chapter story. *hint hint***

**Just so you know this will be very angsty, I love the whole depression vibe you can get from reading stories, but don't worry, it shouldn't get too bad.**

**This is dedicated to Miss Fenway for reaching 500 reviews on her amazing story little hollow. If you haven't read yet then I must say... stop reading this story! Go read hers! It's much better!**

**00oo00**

_Congratulations and celebrations  
when I tell everyone that you're in love with me  
Congratulations and jubilations  
I want the world to know I'm happy as can be._

Did they really not care? I mean come on! How many times in a life do you turn eighteen? Once. That's how many times. Just once. And yet, despite this being a once in a life time occurrence for me they chose to simply ignore it.

But perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself.

Hello, my name is Logan Mitchell. And today is the day I simply gave up.

I suppose it's slightly ironic when you thing about it, I've lived a pretty good life. I've had good friends, I've had good health, good grades and as far as looks go I'm not bad. But I don't feel any of it. I know these things purely because the rationality of my mind told me so. When I look back over things I can only really pick out the negatives. To me there is always a fault. Weather my handwritings slightly messy, or the way that every now and then I completely freeze up on stage.

I've ignored it up until now, the feeling of self loathing. But I guess it's harder to put thoughts into the back of my mind as I had hoped.

_Who would believe that I could happy and contented  
I used to think that happiness hadn't been invented  
but that was in the bad old days before I met you  
when I let you walk into my heart._

Yesterday I turned eighteen. It was supposed to be a fun-filled day, you know, tons of presents, lots of family members visiting, **a big icing covered cake.** To be honest the only thing I really wanted was the cake.

I had woken up early as well; I had wanted to get a nice fresh start to the day. When I emerged from the shower I was greeted by the familiar scene of Carlos and James arguing over toast. Or more Carlos stealing James's toast, running away with it, tripping, and throwing it in my face.

So much a nice fresh start to the day.

"Ooops! Sorry Logan!" he had grinned, placing one arm behind his head and grinning in an impish manor.

"It's fine." I replied, wiping the butter out of my eyes and trying my best to ignore the stinging feeling.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Reeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllly?"

"Yes."

"You su-"

"Yes!" I cut him off. I was really not in the mood for his childishness.

"Ok then." Carlos shrugged, turned around and went back over to James. Most probably to steal his juice box.

"Good morning Logan" Mrs Knight had sang, her voice had sounding sickeningly sweet, like honey. She span around in a cartoonish way and reached towards the cupboard. About ten minutes later a bowl of cereal was placed infront of me. "Here! Eat up! Gustavo rang earlier, you have a long rehearsal today and I don't want you to get tired." A long rehearsal? On my birthday? How is that fair?

_Congratulations and celebrations  
when I tell everyone that you're in love with me  
Congratulations and jubilations  
I want the world to know I'm happy as can be._

It didn't take me long to realise they had forgotten.

At first I had thought that maybe they had planned a surprise party, and that the rehearsal was just a cover up. But no. Nothing.

The funny thing was though, I didn't actually **feel** disappointed. Just... numb.

I felt as though I finally had conformation of just how unimportant I was, it actually felt somewhat of a relief to finally stop having to try so desperately to be someone I no longer felt I was.

The rehearsal had lasted hours. By the time we got back it was pitch black outside, well past midnight and Carlos, James and Kendall impatiently went to bed. Leaving me alone in the kitchen with my thoughts. Slowly I started to feel just how cold it was. The warm atmosphere had turned to ice around me. I no longer thought clearly.

I turned myself towards the bathroom and made my way over to the sink.

I wonder if it was fate that made the razor be there. Lying still in unmoving beauty. I let out a shaky breath and grabbed. Bringing it to my arm. It didn't hurt. The razor cut a thin straight line across my skin, letting the scarlet liquid fall. Watched, unmoving as the red ribbon fell. And I realised that I felt nothing.

_was afraid that maybe you thought you were above me  
That I was only fooling myself to think you'd love me  
But then tonight you said you couldn't live without me  
That round about me you wanted to stay._

I realised where I was. I was at the omega. The breaking point. More friegtnening than the most horrific nightmare man had ever dared to dream and more lonely than the last night of a convicted man. The end at the begging.

_Congratulations and celebrations  
when I tell everyone that you're in love with me  
Congratulations and jubilations  
I want the world to know I'm happy as can be_

_00oo00_

**Well? What do you think? Please review! **

**P.S **

**Sorry for the many mistakes, both grammatical and spelling. My spell check is broke and this key board is so small I can barely use it **

**Sorry.**


	2. falling

**...**

**Ok, what is wrong with you people?**

**You actually liked this?**

**Not that I mind though... I'm actually quite flattered :) **

**I've decided that the previous chapter was a prologue, so please enjoy:**

**00oo00**

Carlos's POV:

Something was up.

I don't know what it was, when it started, or just who exactly it was but 'it' was there and it was seriously dampening my poolside mood.

If I had to guess when, id say it started last week, the day of Gustavo's 'extra long super training in order to achieve the highest possible praise from Griffin rehearsals.' Or E.L.S.T.I.O.T.A.T.H.P.P.F.G.R, for... short?

Logan had been kind of... off... all day. He hadn't really spoken to us much and every time I glanced at him I noticed this sort of disappointed look in his eye. I don't know why, though, but ever since he's been weird. He's been really, really quiet, he's been staying in bed up till 2**pm **and he's gone even paler than usual. He didn't even want to come to the pool today! This is the first time since we've got here that he has actually said no to the pool.

Instead he just went back to bed.

The worst of it all was his test.

Let me explain, two days ago at school we had a simple science test, so simple that even I got a 95% score. But, for some reason Logan didn't. He didn't even get past writing his name. He actually **failed **a test. That never, repeat never, happens.

And that is why I am sitting here beside the pool. Staring up into space, and being uncharacteristically quiet.

00oo00

Logan's POV:

I'm sinking.

I can feel it.

I can feel it with every breath, every step, and every delicate pattern that I cut into my skin. I am no longer here.

I hate myself for this. For what I've become, what I'm becoming. And worse of all what it's doing to my friends. They don't know, they might be catching on but they don't know. I don't even feel like it's me who's doing it.

I feel like it's someone else, some other person and that I'm just watching from the sidelines, through a thin sheet of glass.

I'm hearing voices too.

Loud, snide, mean voices. Each of which exists for the sole purpose of hurting me.

No. This is not my life.

This is someone else's.

And I don't want to watch anymore.

I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, to cut that one last thread between the live and the dead. But that's what the voices want. I can feel my small grasp on what remains of my sanity getting weaker and weaker. I'm losing myself. I'm losing my friends. I'm losing my will to live.

I can see my arm reach again towards the blade, cutting deeper than before. But I cannot feel the pain that should be there.

Someone, please save me. Save me from the darkness. Save me from the voices. Save me from myself.

00oo00

**I'm telling you I suck! **

**I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry for this chapter. I don't like it at all.**

**But please review**


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